Beginning your thoughts with
I actually can't believe you'd think higher load when changing gear won't increase wear to cassette sprockets.
Basic physics and engineering principles apply..
I think with that statement you are agreeing with my hypothysis, without actually understanding why. I am stating that potentially if you back off to change, you will increase the wear rate of the gear teeth on Ebikes, unlike analogue bikes.
Before I start to explain more, what do you consider " load " to be ? Is that sideways load, individual point load on the teeth or a combination of both ? I think you need to detail what sort of load you are thinking of when you make such an all encompassing statement like that.
One would have to consider also the spread of load over a number of teeth as load in my book is simply a force applied to a single point ( in our case pressure on the teeths surface ), if that pressure is spread over 7 teeth rather than 4 then obviously the " load " will be of different values. Oh so complicated.
I think you are missing my point which I am stating that if you back off the human pedaling load momentarily ( cadence or the torque sensor reading begins to lower ), the engine controller will begin to shut down its power and probably the speed of the motor. You the human controller then begin to rotate the pedals again at X cadence and with some force Y on the pedals. The motor is still in its shut down phase ( inertia and magnetic forces can't be instantly controlled ) slowing rotation. At this point the sensors will report that the cadence has increased and will demand that the motor speeds up to match the cadence and inputs Y amount of current to match the requirements of the torque sensor.
Now for those who have worked in the electronics field will know, algorythms are used to control rotation and power in motors. Now dependant on firmware, the motor will apply too much voltage to first ramp up the speed as fast as it can to match the cadence, then apply too much power to find the level of the torque sensor requirements. The motor firmware then shuts off and reapplys both voltage and power ( amps ) in short bursts until an equilibrium occurs which matchs the riders requirements of pedal cadence and speed. Thats just the way its done. For those who want a bit more knowledge heres a primer
Field Oriented Control (FOC) - A Deep Dive
Its this initial burst of power and voltage that I think is wearing the gears more than if a cyclist simply changes gear in a smooth manner ( the motor power won't change ). Now I have to admit a bit of extra information. I sometimes log my EBikes power and there are definate spikes in that recording which are way beyond the actual requirements of constant pedalling. Due to the very slow logging of data I have ( 1 second average at best rate ) its almost impossible to actually say that coincides with changing gear, but the question has been asked, are those spikes coinciding with the backoff I do when changing gear and when the motor repowers back up as I begin to repedal ( motor extra power + human power ) ? If so then the motor spikes will cause greater wear ( increased point loading, thats the little surge you can feel just after reapplying pedal power ) than say an analogue bike when backing off to change.