You might be a mountain biker if...

[steve_sordy]

You might be a mountain biker if ...

.. choosing to buy flowers for your wife/girlfriend or upgrading your bike is a moral dilemma.
.. in college you thought Spring Break was a suspension failure.
.. you are on first name terms with the people at the local bike shop
.. you know what faux bar suspension is.
.. you bought your partner a new bike video for their birthday.
.. you know who is the star of ”The Ridge”.
.. you know what UST, BB and QR stand for.
.. you look out the car window to see whether what you see is rideable.
.. you have at least one component from every bike you have ever owned.
.. you have more friends you ride with than in real life.
.. you know the difference between Stack and Reach.
.. you look forward to Christmas so you can buy new bike stuff.
.. you buy the “trail bike of the year” and still have to change it.
.. you spent more on your wheelset than you did on your wife’s wedding ring.
.. you like the idea of a gravel bike but are unlikely to ever buy one.
.. you think that normal people yawning around you are sleep deprived.
.. you window shop at the LBS.
...your bikes cost more than your car.
.. your wife hasn't the foggiest idea of what you do on your bike.
.. you can tell your tyre pressures are right/wrong by riding 50 yards, or less!
.. you believe that n=n+1 is a rule for life.

 

[HikerDave]

You might be a mountain biker if ...

.. choosing to buy flowers for your wife/girlfriend or upgrading your bike is a moral dilemma.
.. in college you thought Spring Break was a suspension failure.
.. you are on first name terms with the people at the local bike shop
.. you know what faux bar suspension is.
.. you bought your partner a new bike video for their birthday.
.. you know who is the star of ”The Ridge”.
.. you know what UST, BB and QR stand for.
.. you look out the car window to see whether what you see is rideable.
.. you have at least one component from every bike you have ever owned.
.. you have more friends you ride with than in real life.
.. you know the difference between Stack and Reach.
.. you look forward to Christmas so you can buy new bike stuff.
.. you buy the “trail bike of the year” and still have to change it.
.. you spent more on your wheelset than you did on your wife’s wedding ring.
.. you like the idea of a gravel bike but are unlikely to ever buy one.
.. you think that normal people yawning around you are sleep deprived.
.. you window shop at the LBS.
...your bikes cost more than your car.
.. your wife hasn't the foggiest idea of what you do on your bike.
.. you can tell your tyre pressures are right/wrong by riding 50 yards, or less!
.. you believe that n=n+1 is a rule for life.

... you realize that washing your bike is as pointless as taking a bath.

 

[GrandPaBrogan]

... you break into a sweat and wake up screaming from a chainstay length nightmare. In that dream you keep running away from your chainstay but it keeps following you as it grows forever longer!

 

[Beekeeper]

The wife wanted some bling this Xmas so I have got her a cable lock and Shimano pedals. Hopefully she will see the funny side and not be too angry with me ?

 

[GrandPaBrogan]

You might be a mountain biker if...

... you moan and toss around in bed with arms tense and spread wide apart while having a handlebar width nightmare. In that dream you're speeding towards the mother of all downhill rock gardens - when suddenly your 800mm handlebar starts to get shorter and shorter! In panic and disbelief you try to stop the shrinkage by spreading the ends apart with brute force, but to no avail! With both hands eventually pushed against either side of your stem, you hit the first rock and you suddenly wake up from a loud thump. You'd fallen out of bed!

 

[Mikerb]

A psychologist would have a field day with some of these!

 

[GrandPaBrogan]

A psychologist would have a field day with some of these!

Psychologist: I see that this is your first appointment Mr @Zimmerframe. Let's get started with an inkblot test to see if we can discover the root cause of your anxiety.

Zimmerframe: I've been having trouble sleeping.

Psychologist: What do you see in this image?

Zimmerframe: Err uhmm a Praxxis eRING STEEL MTN 1X 104BCD - 36T ??

 

[Beekeeper]

Err that’s me after installing forks the wrong way round and going for first ever test ride in the garden ?

(Yes I actually did this ?)

 

[Zimmerframe]

Let's get started with an inkblot test to see if we can discover the root cause of your anxiety.

That's just silly. It's not an inkblot test. The patient has to see something that's not there, everyone can see it's a dirty 36t praxis steel e-ring ! ?

 

[Beekeeper]

You are definitely NOT a mountain biker if you see a butterfly here

 

[Zimmerframe]

You are definitely NOT a mountain biker if you see a butterfly here

View attachment 23214

Looks like a long lost Davinci drawing for a design where two e-bikes can clip together to make a 4 rotor flying surf board.... with twin 36t STEEL Praxis e-rings ....

 

[Beekeeper]

Looks like a long lost Davinci drawing for a design where two e-bikes can clip together to make a 4 rotor flying surf board.... with twin 36t STEEL Praxis e-rings ....

A true visionary!
I can see it now...

 

[GrandPaBrogan]

You are definitely NOT a mountain biker if you see a butterfly here

View attachment 23214

Hey doc, please put that inkblot away! I can’t bear to look at it... all I see are two ridiculously long chainstays!

 

[Mikerb]

Aha...now we are getting self analysis. So far we have established that there are scales of MBS (mountain bike syndrome) and sadly it is yet to recognised by the medical profession. Curiously it appears only to affect men. Symptoms include irrational and obsessive behaviour, a prediliction for mud and a curious trance like reaction to chains. Sadly there have been cases reported of self harm and severe depression apparently as a result of unresolved gear slippage. There is little doubt that the introduction of the e mtb has resulted in a dramatic increase in cases of MBS and symptoms are more extreme such that a EMBS is now considered to be at the extreme end of the MBS spectrum.

 

[GrandPaBrogan]

There is little doubt that the introduction of the e mtb has resulted in a dramatic increase in cases of MBS and symptoms are more extreme such that a EMBS is now considered to be at the extreme end of the MBS spectrum.

Psychologist: I'm afraid that you have MBS Mr @Zimmerframe but not only that, your symptoms seem to indicate an extreme version of the syndrome.

Zimmerframe: That's absurd! There's nothing wrong with the way I walk!

Psychologist: Selectively tip-toeing as if you're in the middle of a mine-field - is highly indicative of someone suffering from advanced EMBS. Please tell me what's the first thing that comes to mind when you see this ink blot...



Zimmerframe: Pedal Strike?

Psychologist: Aha!

 

[HikerDave]

Psychologist: I'm afraid that you have MBS Mr @Zimmerframe but not only that, your symptoms seem to indicate an extreme version of the syndrome.

Zimmerframe: That's absurd! There's nothing wrong with the way I walk!

Psychologist: Selectively tip-toeing as if you're in the middle of a mine-field - is highly indicative of someone suffering from advanced EMBS. Please tell me what's the first thing that comes to mind when you see this ink blot...

View attachment 23234

Zimmerframe: Pedal Strike?

Psychologist: Aha!

Acceleration profile.