steve_sordy
Wedding Crasher
Another rocker from the locker. This is dated 2011, from a mate, still funny.
I know he loves that cat!
Today didn't start well and just got worse
Stayed at girlfriends flat last night, overlaid so jumped out of bed still half asleep and kicked the castor on the bedside table, removing the nail from my little toe and breaking the bedside lamp.
Did the 'stubbed my toe dance' over to the main light switch, stood on the cat. Cat attempted to skin me alive. Fought off cat. Turned light on, now temporarily blinded, cat used this to its advantage and launched a revenge attack, sank its teeth and claws into my calf. Cat unceremoniously hoofed to other side of bedroom. Girlfriend more concerned with well-being of cat and the trail of blood dots leading to the bathroom.
Stayed at girlfriends flat last night, overlaid so jumped out of bed still half asleep and kicked the castor on the bedside table, removing the nail from my little toe and breaking the bedside lamp.
Did the 'stubbed my toe dance' over to the main light switch, stood on the cat. Cat attempted to skin me alive. Fought off cat. Turned light on, now temporarily blinded, cat used this to its advantage and launched a revenge attack, sank its teeth and claws into my calf. Cat unceremoniously hoofed to other side of bedroom. Girlfriend more concerned with well-being of cat and the trail of blood dots leading to the bathroom.
Rushed off to work, no breakfast, left my snap box on the kitchen counter. Bugger.
Made it to work safely but slowly, damn my calf was stiff, caught pedal on security gate as I walked in, crank spun around and other pedal hit me in the back of the calf the cat was chewing on earlier.
Mid-morning sandwich van arrived on estate (man I'm hungry now!), rushing to get some cash and get to out to van, put my hand out to steady myself climbing over a stillage and got a piece of mig wire clean through the palm and out the back. Missed the sandwich van whilst waiting for someone to get some cutters so I could free myself. Whilst waiting , wondered if I should be overly concerned by the threads of flesh hanging off the rough end of the wire.
Late morning, our delivery driver hasn't turned in, so I had to nip into Sheffield to collect some tooling. Great opportunity to call in for something to eat on the way back!
Collected tooling, whilst loading van, wind blew the door shut on me, trapped my thumb in the latch. Luckily (ha!) it bounced off and didn't lock. Did the 'I've hit my thumb dance'.
Lass who was helping me load the van says " best let me take a look at that" and promptly faints. My thumb looks like a squashed tomato and I can see the bone. Shite, that's not good
Spent the next 5 hours in A+E, mostly waiting to go down to X-ray. Luckily nothing broken. Had my thumb stitched up by a student who didn't like needles (err, may want to re-think your career choice there love) and took so long the anaesthetic injection (which didn't do bugger all to be honest) wore off long before she finished.
Got a tetanus injection in my arse and something else in my arm because of the cat
Am now sat at home after finally getting something to eat with my thumb and calf taking it in turns to have waves of throbbing pain.
Suspect I'm not going to have the best ever night's sleep.
Made it to work safely but slowly, damn my calf was stiff, caught pedal on security gate as I walked in, crank spun around and other pedal hit me in the back of the calf the cat was chewing on earlier.
Mid-morning sandwich van arrived on estate (man I'm hungry now!), rushing to get some cash and get to out to van, put my hand out to steady myself climbing over a stillage and got a piece of mig wire clean through the palm and out the back. Missed the sandwich van whilst waiting for someone to get some cutters so I could free myself. Whilst waiting , wondered if I should be overly concerned by the threads of flesh hanging off the rough end of the wire.
Late morning, our delivery driver hasn't turned in, so I had to nip into Sheffield to collect some tooling. Great opportunity to call in for something to eat on the way back!
Collected tooling, whilst loading van, wind blew the door shut on me, trapped my thumb in the latch. Luckily (ha!) it bounced off and didn't lock. Did the 'I've hit my thumb dance'.
Lass who was helping me load the van says " best let me take a look at that" and promptly faints. My thumb looks like a squashed tomato and I can see the bone. Shite, that's not good
Spent the next 5 hours in A+E, mostly waiting to go down to X-ray. Luckily nothing broken. Had my thumb stitched up by a student who didn't like needles (err, may want to re-think your career choice there love) and took so long the anaesthetic injection (which didn't do bugger all to be honest) wore off long before she finished.
Got a tetanus injection in my arse and something else in my arm because of the cat
Am now sat at home after finally getting something to eat with my thumb and calf taking it in turns to have waves of throbbing pain.
Suspect I'm not going to have the best ever night's sleep.
Obviously, it's all totally subjective, but I'm convinced!
I know he loves that cat!
