Not biking, but this made me laugh.

[steve_sordy]

I was out with my wife in Nottingham and it was raining hard. I fished out the cheapo "just for emergencies" umbrella kept in the door pocket. It cost me about £7 and I hadn't used it before, been there for ages. It worked fine, but when we got to the restaurant it was dripping. There was large radiator next to our table, so I collapsed the brolly and laid it on there to dry off. After ten minutes or so I rotated it slightly to allow it to dry better. I must have pressed the button on the handle because the bloody thing suddenly erected itself! As it was doing so one of the dry bits contacted the candle on the table and caught fire! Stuff was swept off the table by the opening brolly, cascading onto my wife's lap. Meanwhile I was beating the brolly to extinguish the flames. It caused quite a stir.

During the fire-fighting I had irreparably damaged several spokes and the brolly would neither close nor erect properly after that, plus a big ragged hole in it from the fire damage. £7 for one use, offset by the entertainment value of course!

 

[Stihldog]

I was out with my wife in Nottingham and it was raining hard. I fished out the cheapo "just for emergencies" umbrella kept in the door pocket. It cost me about £7 and I hadn't used it before, been there for ages. It worked fine, but when we got to the restaurant it was dripping. There was large radiator next to our table, so I collapsed the brolly and laid it on there to dry off. After ten minutes or so I rotated it slightly to allow it to dry better. I must have pressed the button on the handle because the bloody thing suddenly erected itself! As it was doing so one of the dry bits contacted the candle on the table and caught fire! Stuff was swept off the table by the opening brolly, cascading onto my wife's lap. Meanwhile I was beating the brolly to extinguish the flames. It caused quite a stir.

During the fire-fighting I had irreparably damaged several spokes and the brolly would neither close nor erect properly after that, plus a big ragged hole in it from the fire damage. £7 for one use, offset by the entertainment value of course!

There’s a lesson or moral in there …somewhere.??

 

[Jackware]

Did you then calmly eat your meals as if nothing had happened?

 

[Zimmerframe]

Certainly a far nicer read than @BAMBAMODA's erection stories !

 

[Zimmerframe]

There’s a lesson or moral in there …somewhere.??

I had irreparably damaged several spokes

A wise man sets fire to his brolly and not his Mountain bike ?

 

[Mcharza]

There’s a lesson or moral in there …somewhere.??

Yes, sudden erection is a scary thing

 

[Nicho]

There’s a lesson or moral in there …somewhere.??

They do say it is unlucky to open an umbrella indoors!

 

[Mikerb]

mmm....not very waterproof, flammable and prone to breaking spokes.......now what bike brand was it???

 

[steve_sordy]

Did you then calmly eat your meals as if nothing had happened?

Yes I sure did, not sure about my wife though!

 

[steve_sordy]

They do say it is unlucky to open an umbrella indoors!

Well, it was for that umbrella!

 

[steve_sordy]

Yes, sudden erection is a scary thing

Especially in a public place!