Specialized HQ.
Accountant 'well we are having a good year'
L.Ron Specialized 'can we make more money? '
Accountant 'how? More reliable bikes? '
L.Ron Specialized 'higher prices, so we replace a few bits costs fuck all in the scheme of things '
Accountant 'well there are a few complaints about prices '
L.Ron Specialized 'you said that last year and I put up the price, sold more than ever
Accountant 'yes but '
L.Ron Specialized 'FFS I spent a shit load of years building this cult and a few people are unhappy? A cult is not a fucking democracy as long as the fuckers buy it what is the problem? '
Accountant 'yes but the forums? '
L.Ron Specialized 'did you ever hear the Mexicans say, everyone loves our coke maybe we should lower the price so it's available to the masses. No. '
Accountant 'but '
L.Ron Specialized 'get the fuck out of here and make sure you have that motor shit sorted next time '
*Not the actual conversation.
Sometime earlier in the year
Marketing 'well the 2020 EMBikes are good to go, when and where shall we launch'
L.Ron Specialized 'what are you talking about, in 2020 I suppose'
Marketing 'Well actually normally bikes are launched in September?
L.Ron Specialized 'well fuck me I am still learning, so if they are good to go release them in September'
Marketing 'ok but where, maybe we should get the jump on everybody and do it in August in Verbier, biggest EMTB festival in the world'
L.Ron 'that's Switzerland right? Bloody expensive and they don't even make cheddar cheese, WTF do they know about EMTBs?'
Marketing 'actually they are designed and developed there'
L.Ron Specialized 'mmm, nah bit early'
Marketing 'okay, what about Eurobike 5th September?'
L.Ron Specialized 'is that like Eurovision? Funny as fuck but the singing is shit'
Marketing 'actually it is one of the biggest bike shows in the world'
L.Ron Specialized 'nah, we will get lost in the croud and everyone will want to go just for a free flight and holiday, it'll cost me a fortune'
Marketing 'actually most will be from Switzerland so they can drive, we could put them in a minibus and make them camp out ;-)'
L.Ron Specialized 'I like where you are going with this but if it rained I would never hear the fucking end of it, rains all the time there'
Marketing 'you're thinking of the UK'
L.Ron Specialized 'whatever, maybe just send em! Send em - getit? Send em in September has a ring about it, post them in August if the joints too far away, start with Chile and New Zealand, their post is shit so might take a bit longer'
Marketing 'so we don't launch we just 'send em in September?''
L.Ron Specialized 'yea, keep them guessing, like 'how long will my motor last?' as long as people are talking about em, it's all good'
Marketing 'but the guys in Switzerland have been working on the Kenevo for 6 years, we should have a party or something?'
L.Ron Specialized '6 fucking years? with what that has cost me I can't afford a party'
Marketing 'okay we launch in September or October' walks away face palming....
