I suspect that one man's cleaning regime is another man's nit picking worry fest, and yet another man's idea of wilful neglect. But here goes!
Kit list:
Bucket of hot soapy water (soap liquid from Halfords that has no salt in it, for cars. Very cheap).
Watering can filled from the water butt.
Variety of brushes, including a mech brush.
Small sponge.
Hope's Sh1t Shifter. Use neat for the drive train, well diluted (10:1 ish) for preliminary spray all over for when the bike is really mucky.
If you must use a hosepipe, don't have it on jet, the water needs to be almost falling out of the hose.
Assuming bike is really mucky. If not, miss out a few steps (scrubbing tyres for ex).
Put bike on workstand
Wet the bike with the watering can.
Spray all over with the Hopes diluted stuff, ensure the tyres are well wetted. Leave for a few mins.
Rinse the bike with the watering can.
Scrub the tyres and pedals with a hard-backed bristle brush. Rinse clean.
Brush and soapy water all over the frame, wheels, under saddle, bars cables, suspension etc. I have a few different shaped brushes to get into all the nooks and crannies.
Wipe the hubs with the sponge.
Rinse bike with watering can.
Spray front ring with undiluted Hopes, ditto cassette, mech body and jockey wheels. Then scrub with the mech brush.
Rinse with watering can.
Bounce the bike to dislodge any loose water.
If it's sunny, leave bike to dry. Otherwise into the garage to dry off and lube what needs lubing.
Cleaning the tyres takes the longest. If they are mucky then usually the rest of the bike is really mucky too. I like clean tyres ok!
After giving the bike a wipe over with an old towel, I run the chain through another old towel to get it as dry as I can before lubing it. Cycle the gears through the range a few times to articulate the chain and allow the lube to work into it. Also gives you the opportunity to check the shifting is still OK. I wipe over the stanchions (fork, shock, dropper) with some paper towels before wiping over with some wet lube (never dry lube it has solvents in it). Then cycle the stanchions a few times before wiping off any loose lube and any muck. Check the brakes and I'm done. The close up work allows me to check for any cracks, stone chips, or anything else that looks as though it might need attention.
I have a Focus Jam2 and I have never had a problem with water in the connections that has affected starting or power delivery and so forth (2yrs 2 months in). Whenever I have removed the motor cover, there has never been anything in there but dust or a damp stain. OK, I don't ride through streams and rivers like some on this Forum, but I do ride through puddles and in the rain. The lack of water related problems may be down to good design or maybe just good luck, but I have never used a jet wash or anything like it.
Final note: If you have ridden through sheep shit, and allowed it to dry on the tyres, you will NEVER be able to clean it off. Yes the residue will go, but the green stain will remain. The only way to remove the stain is to ride through sand or thick mud. Loose gravel might work too. But forget trying to scrub it off. Anything that might dissolve the stain would remove my fingerprints! I would not want it anywhere near my paintwork either!