I am already tired of......

[Oldb**tard]

Another retort is, "When you (complainer/detractor) start riding here on a rigid bike with coaster brakes (ala the original Marin mtb group), then you can have your say." Or, I simply remark on how fun the uphills are.

 

[2WheelsNot4]

Years ago I had a catcall riding through Glasgow city. Passed some guy and his mates and he shouts out "Gie's a backie"(Glaswegian parlance - Give me a lift on the back of your bike)

I shouted back -"Sorry mate, Im strictly heterosexual"
Followed by a sharp increase in speed