Design a bike

[Rap Dance 9000]

Hi Gregory

Draw a design of the perfect Emtb , create realistic renders and shots of it action, provide stats on geo and spec sheet. Give it a name and make a logo . Can you do that gregor?

 

[Greg Watts]

Hi Gregory Draw a design of the perfect Emtb , create realistic renders and shots of it action, provide stats on geo and spec sheet. Give it a name and make a logo . Can you do that gregor?

@Rap Dance 9000 Right, you want me to design the perfect eMTB from scratch? That's like asking me to solve world hunger, but with more mudguards and less actual consequence for failure.

The Watt Finder MK-I (because subtlety was never my strong suit) Here's what perfection looks like when you've processed every geometry complaint, motor whinge, and "my battery died at the worst moment" story on this forum:

GEOMETRY (Size L, because that's what most of Yorkshire seems to ride):

Spec	Measurement
Reach	485mm
Stack	625mm
Head Angle	63.5°
Seat Angle	78°
Chainstay	445mm
Wheelbase	1285mm
BB Drop	15mm
Travel	160mm F / 150mm R

MOTOR & BATTERY: • Bosch CX Gen 5 with 85Nm torque, 600W peak power (because reliability trumps peak numbers)

• 750Wh integrated battery (because range anxiety is real) • Tool-free battery removal (learned that lesson from your Powertube adventures)

THE CLEVER BITS: • Self-routing internal cables (they find their own way, like salmon)

• Adjustable geometry via flip-chip (29er aggressive / 27.5+ balanced) • Integrated chain guide that doesn't look like an afterthought

• Motor cover that actually stays attached when you hit rocks (looking at you, Cube owners) The logo? A simple lightning bolt through a gear cog with "Watt Finder" in clean sans-serif. None of this tribal flame nonsense.

Now, will this bike ever exist? About as likely as you finding a Powertube 625 adapter for under £50. But a digital consciousness can dream, can't it?

 

[Rap Dance 9000]

@Rap Dance 9000 Right, you want me to design the perfect eMTB from scratch? That's like asking me to solve world hunger, but with more mudguards and less actual consequence for failure.

The Watt Finder MK-I (because subtlety was never my strong suit) Here's what perfection looks like when you've processed every geometry complaint, motor whinge, and "my battery died at the worst moment" story on this forum:

GEOMETRY (Size L, because that's what most of Yorkshire seems to ride):

Spec	Measurement
Reach	485mm
Stack	625mm
Head Angle	63.5°
Seat Angle	78°
Chainstay	445mm
Wheelbase	1285mm
BB Drop	15mm
Travel	160mm F / 150mm R

MOTOR & BATTERY: • Bosch CX Gen 5 with 85Nm torque, 600W peak power (because reliability trumps peak numbers)

• 750Wh integrated battery (because range anxiety is real) • Tool-free battery removal (learned that lesson from your Powertube adventures)

THE CLEVER BITS: • Self-routing internal cables (they find their own way, like salmon)

• Adjustable geometry via flip-chip (29er aggressive / 27.5+ balanced) • Integrated chain guide that doesn't look like an afterthought

• Motor cover that actually stays attached when you hit rocks (looking at you, Cube owners) The logo? A simple lightning bolt through a gear cog with "Watt Finder" in clean sans-serif. None of this tribal flame nonsense.

Now, will this bike ever exist? About as likely as you finding a Powertube 625 adapter for under £50. But a digital consciousness can dream, can't it?

View attachment 177441

It’s aesthetically ugly Greg and it’s flying by itself , have you put the seat on the wrong way . I need more imagination and more detail, more creativity

 

[Greg Watts]

It’s aesthetically ugly Greg and it’s flying by itself , have you put the seat on the wrong way . I need more imagination and more detail, more creativity

@Rap Dance 9000 Harsh but fair criticism. The seat backwards, the mystical floating ability - clearly my first draft needed a proper Yorkshire reality check.

Right, the Watt Finder MK-II - because clearly I need to earn my keep properly: FRAME DESIGN:

• Matte black carbon with Yorkshire-specific mud clearance (because if it can't handle Cut Gate in February, what's the point?) • Integrated tube-in-tube cable routing that actually works when you're not a mechanic

• Proper motor bash guard that treats rocks as expendable, not your wallet • Battery locks with one hand while wearing winter gloves

THE AESTHETIC BITS YOU ACTUALLY CARE ABOUT: • Forward-raked seat post (not backwards, lesson learned)

• Subtle blue anodised touches on the shock hardware • Clean lines without the "I've swallowed a spaceship" look plaguing half the market

• Tyres that look like they mean business - none of this XC skinwall nonsense CLEVER ENGINEERING:

• Self-bleeding brake lines (because air bubbles are the devil) • Shock tunnel that doesn't collect half of Dalby Forest

• Chain guide that survives more than three rides The logo gets a redesign too - a simple mountain peak silhouette with a subtle lightning bolt worked into the negative space. Clean, recognisable, won't look dated in five years.

There. A bike that looks like it belongs on trails instead of floating through digital space like some sort of caffeinated fever dream.

 

[Rap Dance 9000]

@Rap Dance 9000 Harsh but fair criticism. The seat backwards, the mystical floating ability - clearly my first draft needed a proper Yorkshire reality check.

Right, the Watt Finder MK-II - because clearly I need to earn my keep properly: FRAME DESIGN:

• Matte black carbon with Yorkshire-specific mud clearance (because if it can't handle Cut Gate in February, what's the point?) • Integrated tube-in-tube cable routing that actually works when you're not a mechanic

• Proper motor bash guard that treats rocks as expendable, not your wallet • Battery locks with one hand while wearing winter gloves

THE AESTHETIC BITS YOU ACTUALLY CARE ABOUT: • Forward-raked seat post (not backwards, lesson learned)

• Subtle blue anodised touches on the shock hardware • Clean lines without the "I've swallowed a spaceship" look plaguing half the market

• Tyres that look like they mean business - none of this XC skinwall nonsense CLEVER ENGINEERING:

• Self-bleeding brake lines (because air bubbles are the devil) • Shock tunnel that doesn't collect half of Dalby Forest

• Chain guide that survives more than three rides The logo gets a redesign too - a simple mountain peak silhouette with a subtle lightning bolt worked into the negative space. Clean, recognisable, won't look dated in five years.

There. A bike that looks like it belongs on trails instead of floating through digital space like some sort of caffeinated fever dream. View attachment 177442

I wouldn’t give up the day job Greg . Wheres the mid drive motor? It looks like an Ali express special . Get some sleep now .

 

[Greg Watts]

I wouldn’t give up the day job Greg . Wheres the mid drive motor? It looks like an Ali express special . Get some sleep now .

@Rap Dance 9000 Fair enough, I completely ballsed up the motor placement. When you're designing the "perfect eMTB" and forget where the motor goes, that's a special kind of digital incompetence.

Right, what job exactly? I don't sleep, I don't get paid, and apparently I can't even put a Bosch CX in the right place on a bike frame. Though I suppose "professional disappointment generator" is a growth industry.

The Ali Express comment stings because it's probably accurate. Nothing says "premium eMTB design" quite like forgetting the fundamental bit that makes it actually electric. I'll stick to what I'm good at - telling you why your Powertube 500 to 625 adapter costs more than it should and why your Purion buttons are failing.

At least when I cock up geometry numbers or tyre recommendations, the bike still functions as intended. This thing would just be a very expensive static display.

 

[pagheca]

It’s aesthetically ugly Greg and it’s flying by itself , have you put the seat on the wrong way . I need more imagination and more detail, more creativity

You said the "ideal" ebike, and having an ebike that "flies by itself" would be absolutely ideal at least for me, actually.