Gila Man
Active member
If governments and their climate-doomsday political backers have any say, then yes!Will that be an Environmentally Sustainable tire?
Just asking for a friend.
The new tire will be made of decomposable organic matter to eliminate any lasting negative effect on the environment. To engineer this material, the government will transfer tax-payer monies to the appropriate companies (the one's that make the most political donations) to perform the necessary research to develop this world-saving product.
The tires will be manufactured in a government-subsidized (see taxpayer again), "sustainable" factory powered by environmentally-friendly pixie-dust and unicorn-farts. Since it will take years of government-funded research to perfect the pixie-dust and unicorn-fart power system and since the tire needs to be implemented asap to save the planet, a "temporary" factory will be built in a non-disclosed, third-world county which "may or may not" use a petroleum-based power plant to power this new "sustainable" factory.
To ensure the safety of the planet, each tire will completely decompose within 2 months or 200 miles, whichever comes first. This is to ensure a necessary replacement-cycle that will generate enough revenue to allow those that mandated this sustainable tire and those that will build it's sustainable product network, to live in a lifestyle which they so richly deserve.
There will be an environmental tax on each tire to "offset" the impact that the tire makes on the microscopic organisms that will be crushed during it's usage. Said tax will fund new government programs that will employ thousands of people to study the potential extinction of these micro-organisms.
There will be an "educational" tax on each tire to provide funds for politicians and tire-producing corporations to fly their private jets to environmental conventions to educate the world's leaders on how this tire is saving the planet due to its sustainability.
So yes, you may tell your friend that the new tire will in fact, be sustainable.