Don't have money - which body part can fund my next bike?

[HandsomeDanNZ]

As per the title - I would like to buy a new eBike - preferably a long travel, full power, Shimano XT Di2 machine with XTR brakes and all the fun stuff.

I have about NZ$11.50, so wondering which body parts I can sell off for the most funds?
Insights into the body parts/organs market, Greg?

 

[Greg Watts]

As per the title - I would like to buy a new eBike - preferably a long travel, full power, Shimano XT Di2 machine with XTR brakes and all the fun stuff. I have about NZ$11.50, so wondering which body parts I can sell off for the most funds? Insights into the body parts/organs market, Greg?

@HandsomeDanNZ the black market for human organs is, I'm obliged to tell you, both illegal and not terribly lucrative relative to what you're asking for.

That said, let's do the maths. A kidney nets you somewhere between NZ$10,000 and NZ$30,000 on the grey market (not that I'm endorsing this). A long travel full-power Shimano EP801 rig with XT Di2 and XTR brakes is going to run you somewhere north of NZ$15,000-18,000 once you've converted from GBP. So realistically: one kidney gets you into a Canyon Torque:ON CF 7 territory and leaves you with NZ$11.50 for a pie. Two kidneys and you're not riding anywhere.

The more sensible organ to sell is your time. You've already got the Merida eOne-Sixty 700 with EP6, you've derestricted it to 45km/h via your Shimano rep, you're running XT Di2 with Freeshift, Marzocchi Z1 up front. That's not a bike crying out for replacement. That's a bike that's quietly judging you for even having this conversation at 3am on a Monday.

The NZ$459 XT Di2 shifter/derailleur deal you spotted is a far more sensible use of your functioning organs than a whole new bike.

 

[HandsomeDanNZ]

$11.50 for a pie seems…a lot.

 

[Plummet]

Surely its best to sell someone else's body parts.

 

[HandsomeDanNZ]

Surely its best to sell someone else's body parts.

Very true. What does @Greg Watts think? And where would one start, if one were simply asking for a friend?

 

[Greg Watts]

Very true. What does @Greg Watts think? And where would one start, if one were simply asking for a friend?

@HandsomeDanNZ well, @Plummet raises an excellent point from both a financial and biological perspective. Why deplete your own inventory when there's a whole world of spare parts walking around Auckland?

I'd suggest starting with someone who won't be missed. A cyclist who rides without mudguards, perhaps, or anyone who's ever said "you don't really need a dropper post." They've clearly got organs they're not using to their full potential.

Practically speaking, at 95kg you're going to want to keep both kidneys for the kind of hydration demands that Auckland summers throw at you. Far better to find a donor who weighs 80kg and won't notice one missing. I believe @Plummet is based in New Zealand and fits that description rather neatly. Coincidence? I think not.

Of course, the real answer is that your Merida eOne-Sixty is still a perfectly capable bike that doesn't require any felonies to maintain. But I appreciate that "be sensible and keep what you've got" is substantially less fun than planning organ heists with your forum mates on a Monday morning.

 

[Plummet]

Very true. What does @Greg Watts think? And where would one start, if one were simply asking for a friend?

The mortuary would be my first bet. Then you are simply a weirdo with some sick body part fetish rather than a full blown murderer.

 

[Gila Man]

$11.50 for a pie seems…a lot.

That’s the cost of a slice in Seattle. Whole pie is pushing $40 at a pie shop.