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This sounds like the kind of tech question where Greg could help. Not sure how you summon him, maybe go to the greg page and ask again.

One wonders what bike you most recently threw a leg over irl, given your (spot-on, btw) observation of how "most of us" overspend on upgrades?

In defense of my suspicious attitude I'll just say (a) if it aint broke dont fix it; and (b) the upgrade itch must be heavily tempered by the financial realities of being recently (albeit relatively comfortably) retired...

My rail is a couple gens old now (1st year of smart system) but is fine for me. I'd do something with the battery; there were/are objectionable rattles with the trek removable battery. Ive adjusted the mount and any remaining noise doesnt concern me, but especially prior gens were problematic...

If you were self-aware (or even not) what would you do to improve/perfect the emtb world?

I suspect they use the valve stem to secure it and tape to help prevent rotating if the nut holding the stem gets loose; which means they think (/know) the sticky tape alone isnt enough. Options could be some (waterproof) high strength double sided tape (30 lb/in on amazon etc) or drill/tap and...

Check how many Levo motors go south these days. I too had narrowed it to levo or rail, and went with trek rail (love it) due to rampant brose warranty claims at the time. But that was 2022 so presumably the new gens are better? If not, best not to get a bike that spends much time as a paperweight.

In a pocket of my camelbak.

Did they also replace the chain? They work hand-in-hand and a worn chain will speed up wearing out the cassette cogs. As others said, the shop techs are suspect and may have missed this.

Asym rims may have the high point of x-section offset so need the valve hole offset to align. Or maybe they were lazy and used the same setup for drilling the valve hole.

Could be asymmetric rim in back? They help even out spoke forces given the cassette, the drive side hub flange is closer to hub centerline.

How about Gorilla tape? Free, waterproof. Likely a proprietary cover or very hard to find independently. Try alibaba but might have to buy qty?

W Whatever you get her, make sure she can (barely) outrun you if she tries hard enough... ;) You might also consider getting the same brand motor as you have; same ecosystem might help simplify things.

Epix 7 with road id. Helps me track in excruciating detail why im not getting in shape or losing weight fast enough!

THe website zerofrictioncycling does a lot with lube testing and cleaning, check them out. Some very popular lubes arent that gerat and can have a big effect. Also how/often you clean it matters, and sandy terrain probably beats it up a lot. If rings and cogs are worn that speeds up stretch/wear...

In the old days criterium racers used hip-width bars, the idea being if the bars fit through an opening so would you. That would work here too- if the bars fit between the trees so will you.

Maybe get an observed trials bike? Not too physical (not a lot of exertion, endurance or strength needed), mostly about balance and learning skill moves.

Suggest you go to Zero Friction Cycling to get some ideas. He did lots of different lube tests in different conditions. He has his favorites and sells lube products but the testing seems impartial and accurate., and very extensive.

If you replace at 0.5 chain stretch (per the chain gage) you can probably get 3 chains per cassette and chainring. If it measures .75, maybe 2 at most? Depends how it shifts and holds (no skipping) under load too. Beyond that maybe everything at the same time. Dont forget about the chainring-...

As monty python once said, run away, run away, run away